Have you heard the earth shattering news? Have you heard that Jessica and Nick have broken up? Or as the press release stated, they have "parted ways." It's true. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey announced that they have decided to go their separate ways. Now, please forgive my cynicism here. It's just that when stuff like this is treated like news, even surprising news, well, I think it is just silly. At the same time, I do not mean to make fun of their pain. Break ups hurt, and I wish them both a speedy recovery. Sustainable relationships These are two very attractive people. Physical attraction in a relationship is a wonderful thing. It's just that it's hard to sustain a long term relationship based on physical attraction alone. A sustainable relationship requires a good match between the requirements, needs and wants of two people. Requirements are what I call "gotta-haves." The relationship will not work if a requirement is not met. There is no room for compromise. Ex: Having children is a good example of a requirement. It's an either/or situation, because you cannot have half a child. Needs are almost as important as requirements in a relationship. The difference is needs can be negotiated. Needs need to be met, because each time a need is not met, an issue is created. At the same time, there is some flexibility in how the needs are met. Ex: If one person has a stronger need for alone time, this can be negotiated. When, where, and how often the need for alone time is met can be negotiated and compromised upon. Wants are the gravy in a relationship, the extra good stuff. Wants do not have to be there, it's just a lot more fun if they are. Ex: For instance, I really like smooth jazz music. While it would be nice if the person I am with likes smooth jazz too, it's not a have too or a deal breaker. |
